OMG! That Dress!

Okay, Jennifer Aniston you have to stop it! I mean it! Stop it right now.

Don’t even get me started about how you romp around with hot Scot Gerard Butler in your new movie “Bounty Hunter” only to dump him and then have him rekindle.

Even worse is that after he stuffs you into a trunk while doing his bounty hunter duties, you emerge looking professionally fluffed and sleek, all killer legs flashing, in the world’s most perfect little black dress.

I couldn’t even focus on your hair. Instead, I was forced to say, “Oh my God. That dress!”

Of course, being a style sleuth, I found out it’s not even really a dress, but a top and a skirt that’s so perfect on Jen and she wears it well. For the whole frickin’ movie! The specifics aren’t important because it looks like the prefect black dress. Why? It fits her body, it’s very streamlined and it works for her style.

Now, let’s pick apart why it works. The top is very casual and its scoopy neck almost looks like a T-shirt while the skirt hits her at exactly the right spot on her thigh. Sweet!

Just in case this sends you to the racks to buy your own trunk worthy LBD, (little black dress) I have a few helpful hints.

Tamara’s Tactics for Your Perfect LBD:

1. Watch the length of the LBD

Everyone will be different here. There are some of you Red Lipstick mavens who need that LBD to hit at the knee or below. If you’re in your 40′s and the skirt is two or three inches above the knee, it might just be too short. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done, but it’s tricky. Make sure you feel comfortable in the length. If you have that awkward ick moment (be honest) then go a bit longer. No matter what age, please don’t go six inches above the knee so a slight breeze means we get to see your crotch. Not attractive unless you’re doing a Showtime Late Late Night movie. At the knee or an inch or two above should be just right.

2. Find a neckline that works best for you like our style sister Jen.

Consider that Jen has round features, the scoop neck works great on her by complimenting and repeating her natural geometry. She’s a softer type with a great set of arms, so she can go sleeveless. If you have a bit more meat on your bones than opt for a longer sleeve. A V-neck can also be quite flattering and will accentuate your pretty face, especially if it’s a rounder one. Your best shirt style should be reflected in  the neckline of  your LBD.

3. Make sure your LBD is fitted to your body, so we can see your shape.

But it can’t be so fitted that it looks like you need oxygen or we see the exact shape of your kidneys. Please don’t get one that’s too big, so it looks like a maternity tent. That’s not the point here. It should gracefully skim your body and then drape over your form. You can go skin tight if that’s your personality. If you’re a glamour puss who loves the nightlife then a form-fitting black dress is your perfect LBD and wear it proudly!

4. Pay close attention to the fabric knowing that a medium weight material is the most versatile.

You will be able to wear it in summer with nothing over it or in the cooler weather months with a great jacket. If you’re very petite and tiny boned then lighter weights will work better for you. If you have stronger features including curly hair then you can go heavier fabrics because you can wear clothes with more visual weight to them.

5. Buy a classic, simple, streamlined dress without too much detail.

If it has all those studs or necklaces attached to it then it’s harder to work with in the future, plus people will think, “She’s wearing the stud-y, necklace dress again.” The perfect LBD is just the dress with maybe a hint of detail like a gorgeous stitching or detailed draping,  but don’t buy one that is too “souped up” with stuff because that’s not the point. You want to wear this dress a million different ways and  no one will know it’s the same dress because you will be able to create a faux hemline with hollywood tape, make it into a tunic, dress it up with jewelry or even use it at work under a jacket.

Five ways you know you have the WRONG LBD:

1. It screams disco queen.

2. It’s cutting off circulation to your pelvis and other important body areas.

3. You need girlfriends to help you get into it or men friends to help you get out of it. You’re empowered women and your clothes shouldn’t need assistants.

4. You can’t eat a bite of food in it or it will burst off you like Superman’s street clothes.

5. It makes noise when you walk in it. Your clothes shouldn’t talk back.

Five ways to know you have the RIGHT LBD:

1. You don’t have to wear any accessories and you still feel magnificent and sexy.

2. People stop and do double takes. Yes, they’re looking at YOU!

3. It packs easily.

4. You can wear it with almost anything in your closet plus any shoes. It looks great with boots, flats and the big girl pumps.

5. Our gal pal Jennifer Aniston might wear it to seduce Gerard in the sequel.

To Your Beautiful Life!

Tamara